Friday, September 28, 2012

2 Years Later ...

I haven't updated this blog because I just don't know what to say .... I reread the last entry, and things quickly went south from there.  But this is supposed to be a happy blog, one my children will delight in reading when they are older.  However, I don't want to lead them down a fairy tale path and let them wonder why, if everything was so rosy, why did we get divorced??  So, I'll try to make this short and simple and leave out all the gruesome detail.  December, 2010, he decided to hire his own attorney and denied the charges, all of which he had already admitted.  And then used every tactic he had to slow down the divorce process.  When I say it got ugly, I mean it got UGLY.  Two years later, and it's still not pretty.   It's hard to lose even more respect for someone you thought you had already lost ALL respect for.... to put it simply, what I thought were lifestyle changes were, as in the past, nothing more than temporary facades created to fool the spectors of this drama.  And most, of course, believed it.  Well, most on his side of the equation.  No one on my side believes it, of course.  I saw, and have the evidence of, the return of the person I couldn't bear to be around.  Top it off with being diagnosed (me, that is) with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and there was just no way to ever turn this back around when he is the trigger for it.  So, I'll just say we are usually on the same side when it concerns the girls.  And that is where the civility stops.  It terrifies me to think of what they might learn from the other side now, and I pray daily that a good Christian woman will come into his life and take on the challenge that I failed.  God bless her, whoever and wherever she is....

So, I think that concludes this blog.   I just can't see even trying to continue it when it has ended on such a sad note.   I do plan to start another one soon (well, "soon" may be relative .... like, hopefully before another 2 years goes by), a happier blog, that showcases us where we are now.   The girls are happy (as happy as they can be in two separate households), I am thrilled beyond description with our daily lives, with how well my girls are doing in school, and well, with life in general.  It was a long road getting here, and it required lots of help from our village (it takes one to raise kids, you know...), but I feel like I am where I am supposed to be at this moment in time, and I couldn't be happier.  Tried to do the dating thing, then realized I was only doing it because everyone seemed to think I needed to do that sort of thing.  So then I decided that adding more people into my life in that capacity is just not what I want right now. My girls are growing up fast, but they are still young, and I much prefer to spend my free time with them than working on another relationship ... and I know that even if it is a GOOD relationship, it still requires work.  I am not sacrificing anything, I am simply enjoying what I have right now.  There will be time later for other things and other people, but right now, I'm happy being me.  :-)

In the meantime, you MUST read my friend's blog "Don't Lick the Deck".  I swear she has got to have Erma Bombeck genes in her DNA somewhere .. she is hilarious!   (and no, I was not paid to said that!)

Have a good life.   I know I will......

3 comments:

Julie Julie Bo Boolie said...

I'm sorry things got ugly. You deserve so much better than that and so do your girls. Always in your corner!

sarahdelap said...

Hello my friend. I'm so sorry that things had to get UGLY. I'm glad that you are able to be on the same page in regards to the girls. That could really stink. Let me know when you start your rosy blog. I like roses too but reality certainly does catch up at times doesn't it. Anyways love you and glad you have come up for some air. Hope that your life brings you many roses and blessings in the future. You sure do deserve them!

Julie Q said...

So sorry to hear things got so ugly Sophia. :(

You and your girls deserve every happiness.