Friday, September 28, 2012

2 Years Later ...

I haven't updated this blog because I just don't know what to say .... I reread the last entry, and things quickly went south from there.  But this is supposed to be a happy blog, one my children will delight in reading when they are older.  However, I don't want to lead them down a fairy tale path and let them wonder why, if everything was so rosy, why did we get divorced??  So, I'll try to make this short and simple and leave out all the gruesome detail.  December, 2010, he decided to hire his own attorney and denied the charges, all of which he had already admitted.  And then used every tactic he had to slow down the divorce process.  When I say it got ugly, I mean it got UGLY.  Two years later, and it's still not pretty.   It's hard to lose even more respect for someone you thought you had already lost ALL respect for.... to put it simply, what I thought were lifestyle changes were, as in the past, nothing more than temporary facades created to fool the spectors of this drama.  And most, of course, believed it.  Well, most on his side of the equation.  No one on my side believes it, of course.  I saw, and have the evidence of, the return of the person I couldn't bear to be around.  Top it off with being diagnosed (me, that is) with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and there was just no way to ever turn this back around when he is the trigger for it.  So, I'll just say we are usually on the same side when it concerns the girls.  And that is where the civility stops.  It terrifies me to think of what they might learn from the other side now, and I pray daily that a good Christian woman will come into his life and take on the challenge that I failed.  God bless her, whoever and wherever she is....

So, I think that concludes this blog.   I just can't see even trying to continue it when it has ended on such a sad note.   I do plan to start another one soon (well, "soon" may be relative .... like, hopefully before another 2 years goes by), a happier blog, that showcases us where we are now.   The girls are happy (as happy as they can be in two separate households), I am thrilled beyond description with our daily lives, with how well my girls are doing in school, and well, with life in general.  It was a long road getting here, and it required lots of help from our village (it takes one to raise kids, you know...), but I feel like I am where I am supposed to be at this moment in time, and I couldn't be happier.  Tried to do the dating thing, then realized I was only doing it because everyone seemed to think I needed to do that sort of thing.  So then I decided that adding more people into my life in that capacity is just not what I want right now. My girls are growing up fast, but they are still young, and I much prefer to spend my free time with them than working on another relationship ... and I know that even if it is a GOOD relationship, it still requires work.  I am not sacrificing anything, I am simply enjoying what I have right now.  There will be time later for other things and other people, but right now, I'm happy being me.  :-)

In the meantime, you MUST read my friend's blog "Don't Lick the Deck".  I swear she has got to have Erma Bombeck genes in her DNA somewhere .. she is hilarious!   (and no, I was not paid to said that!)

Have a good life.   I know I will......

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Good Grief, Charlie Brown....

Did I mention time is flying? whew!

Well, here's the not-so-great update... I filed for divorce and had papers served to E on Tuesday, October 26, 2010, and the papers were filed based on 2 counts of fault on his part, one is a recurring and one on multiple counts just discovered. There.... vague enough? However, in spite of all that, we are getting along better than ever these days, as my anger is gone, my stress and worry over several things is gone, and he is making a huge attempt to rid himself of some unseemly habits now. It's amazing the changes one can make when one is faced with losing something precious, and he saw the potential loss of his daughters as the catalyst needed to make some life-changing decisions. So we get along famously now, for our girls. We had to explain to Maya tonight that daddy will not be coming back home to stay, even though he's visited quite often now. We'll do ANYTHING for our girls. And I'm so very glad to see his girls are more important to him than anything else in his life.

Now, on to the better stuff! Maya and Maria continue to grow like weeds! I can't seem to keep clothes that will fit them more than an hour or two. And Maria, oh my word! That girl is not only growing, but she hates clothes!! When they get home from school (or anywhere else for that matter), the first things to come off are her socks and shoes, often just inside the doorway. Next comes the pants, and then before you know it, the top is gone, too, and she's running around in just her underwear. But she is very hot-natured, and she does not like clothes. That's Maria. Maya is our whirlwind. A beautiful whirlwind, but I wouldn't be surprised if the next tropical storm is named after her. As I watch these blessings grow, I love to watch their love for each other. When they're not having sisterly fights, that is. Maya is very much the leader, and loves to give orders (gee, wonder where she got THAT from?!?!) And she's something of a control freak. Did I say Sophia? I meant Maya .. oh yes, I did say Maya... ahem. Maria is much calmer, but has certainly come into her own personality, which is pretty much a complete opposite of Maya. Maria is ... studious, I think would be a good word for her. She can sit and occupy herself with puzzles or coloring or playdough for hours. Maya can occupy herself for ... oh, minutes on end, before moving on to something else.

I would love to upload pictures, but my computer is in the shop and all I have is the work laptop right now. Maya is this week's Totally Terrific Me in her 5K class, and she is LOVING it! She gets to take her favorite snacks and also an item to show the class. Today she took pictures of her beloved cat, Marlowe. Tomorrow she wants to take pictures of her little sister, Maria. I love it!

I've said this before, but hopefully I can get back on track with blogging about my precious girls. They say such cute things, and I don't want to forget a thing about their growing up years. Maya, for instance, said on Halloween this year, "we haven't done trick-or-treat in a LONG time!" And Maria, when I get impatient at her slow pace and my voice rises a decibel or two, will calmly tell me to "be patient!" They make me laugh. They make my heart smile. And they are the lights of my life.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Time is flying by! And Maya turns 5 ....

I feel as if someone hit Fast Forward on my life. I signed on to not only find that my last post was for Maria's birthday in March, but that I still have a snow picture as my header photo! Geez, where does the time go?!?! So we skipped right over blogging about Maya's Gotcha Day on May 1, but it was special whether I write about it or not. I am amazed daily that I was lucky enough to become a mother to these two precious girls..... and now on to Maya's 5th birthday!

Maya turned 5 on Monday July 26th, but we had her birthday party on Sunday the 25th at the place where she takes her gymnastic class. She absolutely loved it, as this first picture will attest to. I adore that smile, and am glad that my baby was so happy!

My only complaint about the gym was the unbearable heat! The gym had been closed the week before the party, and temperatures in our town were in the high 90's all week long. You would think SOMEONE would have thought "hm, the gym might be a little hot since no one has been in there this week and the a/c has been turned off." Nope. Not one person. So the college students who are working the party show up around 2:30 for the party that starts at 3:00, and they start trying to figure out how to turn on the darned a/c. The thermostat reads 96 degrees INSIDE THE BUILDING. My blood boils just thinking about it. So we manage to get the a/c on, and it does bring the inside temp down to a sweltering 86 degrees before we leave, but these kids are running and jumping all over the place and I'm constantly worried one of them will pass out. I felt like I was melting and all I had to do was sit and watch! One child did end up going home early as he did not feel well, and we are all sure he just got overheated.

But the good part is, no one was seriously hurt, and these kids had a grand time in spite of the heat! Maria was absolutely tickled that she got to go to gymnastics with Maya, as she is not old enough to take the class there and usually has to watch on the sidelines while Maya goes in the class. We had 15 kids there, including my M&M (as I have taken to abbreviating Maya and Maria, as I also love M&Ms so it's quite fitting, you see), so it was a great turnout to be a summer weekend just a couple of weeks before school starts again.

After running and jumping, we of course had ice cream and cake. And lots of juice and water for the overheated crowd. Speaking of juice, many kudos go to Auntie Lisa for running to the closest grocery store for more ice, juice for the kids and bottled water for the adults. We had brought a cooler of juice boxes and sodas, but felt we would need LOTS more due to the excessive heat. And then came the presents, of course. Maya had such a wonderful day. And to top it off, her BFF Elysia, whom she has not seen since school ended in May, came back to our house with us and she and Maya swam and played for several more hours.

Here's my little monkey!

Maya and her BFF Elysia.

As for the gym, E called them today and requested a refund on the money we paid for the party. While everyone did have a good time, the heat was seriously unbearable, and unsafe, and they did agree to refund the money. I would still recommend them for parties, and Maria is now saying she wants to have her party there, but I will definitely follow up beforehand to make sure everything will be in order before we go next time! And our instructors, Jamie and Dillon, were awesome with the kids!

Oh my word ... I almost forgot to mention the Sleeping Beauty decorations!! Maya had been saying for months that she wanted a Sleeping Beauty party and cake. I do make massive cakes for my girls' birthdays, so I had it all planned. I found a small water globe at the Disney outlet near the beach when we went for Mother's Day (oh, another forgotten blog .. went to the beach for Mother's Day with my girls and stayed with friends Gwen, Don and their daughter Holly. Holly has decided that, as she is an only child, that Maya and Maria will be her little sisters. We had a GREAT time!) And then I decided to get a small Sleeping Beauty doll to use on the bottom tier of the cake and have her sleeping on a bed. Too cute. But, have you ever seen just Sleeping Beauty on any party supplies? You can find all the Disney princesses together, or you can find just Cinderella, or just Ariel, and sometimes just Snow White. But you never see Belle or Aurora all by themselves. What to do ... what to do ... I could get all the princesses, as the cake will be just Sleeping Beauty, but Maya kept saying Sleeping Beauty, not the princesses in general. So, the Google Queen that I am, got online and searched and searched. Found 2 stores in England that had just Sleeping Beauty tablecloths, napkins and all the usual accessories. I practically squealed with delight when I emailed a friend in England and she agreed to let me order the items and have them sent to her house, and she would then mail them to me. Good thing I started searching early for these things, or I never would have gotten them in time! But we had it all .... a Sleeping Beauty tablecloth, napkins, plates and banner. It was wonderful! And my princess had the party she wanted, which made this mama happy.

Friday, March 12, 2010

March 6 - Maria turns 3!

Maria has been saying for a while now that "my bir-day is march 6 in the Rotunda" (rotunda is the indoor playground area at her daycare, which they do rent out for parties). Then she would say "I wan' big cake ... big Hello Kitty cake." So, of course I made her a BIG Hello Kitty cake! My baby turned 3 years old. I have no idea how that happened! When sweet little Maria came home at 11 months old, she could sit by herself, but if she fell over, she didn't know how to get back up by herself. She was not walking and not even crawling. She wouldn't even raise her arms when she cried ... she just sat there. So we had her evaluated by Babynet, and she qualified for Early Intervention services and for speech therapy. She made MAJOR improvements very quickly. Somehow she managed to stay in the program until early this month. Then her EI and her speech therapist just couldn't justify keeping her in the program. As her ST said ... "she's just too smart!" Seems she's the only one in her 2 year old class at daycare that knows how to button. :-) She has come so far in such a short time.... all the way to the bottom of my heart!

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Happy 2nd Gotcha Day, Maria!

I can't believe (I find myself saying that a LOT these days) that two years ago, February 13, 2008, we were in Guatemala picking up our precious Maria. She has come so very far from the little girl who couldn't even get to a sitting position by herself at 11 months old! She was slow in talking, but honestly, I think that had more to do with 1) constant ear infections that the tubes finally helped fix and 2) Maya talking non-stop, so who can really get a word in edgewise? :-)

Maria, you have the sweetest spirit, which I hope you never lose! You are the absolute opposite of Maya in every way (except that sweet spirit thing ... Maya has that too!), but you are both absolutely perfect just as you are. I love that sweet smile of yours ... it stops everyone in their tracks when they see it. And I even love the way you smile so cute and then just say "no" when I'm trying to get you to do something important, like put your socks on. You have been talking up a storm lately, much to the delight and dismay of your speech therapist, Miss Debbie, as she is excited by your progression but sad that she will probably lose you completely soon since you have more than caught up to your age group. You are so very smart that it amazes me sometimes at the things you can do! You are tender-hearted and can get your feeling hurt very easily, and I know that makes me appear to coddle you more, but I can't help it. You and Maya play so well together, even when Maya won't share her toys but then asks you to share your snack with her. And you always do. I love the way you hurry to sit in my lap or next to me when you see Maya coming this way. I love how you are turning out to be a daddy's girl.... the complete adoration on your face when daddy comes in is priceless. I love how you are such a night owl (well, I don't love it EVERY night....) but then can't wake up the next day. I love the way you appear to be 100% asleep in the chair daddy put you in after waking up, but jumping right up the minute we announce "Maria, here's your breakfast!". It's so cute to watch you eat everything you have and then go after Maya's food when her extremely-active-self can't sit still long enough to finish a meal. Your love of music and singing and dancing just melts my heart. And the shyness that makes you stop singing whenever you realize someone is watching you. You have made our family complete, and I simply adore you!

February 2010

I heard a radio announcer say the other day that he is glad February has only 28 days in it, as it seems to be the longest month of the year, so he is grateful he doesn't have to endure 2-3 more days of it. He meant that, if it's going to be really cold in SC, then February is the month that it will happen. And he was correct this year ... we had a big snow event this weekend! Luckily, I already had Friday off and my MIL and my girls and I went to C to visit my mom. We knew they were predicting snow, but honestly, 90% of the time it's never as bad as they make us think it will be. Can't tell you the times when I lived in C that we woke up to NOTHING after a much-hyped snow event had been promised by the local weather folks. Anyway, as we are driving home, it starts to snow about 30 minutes from home. We saw an occasional flake here and there along the route, but then all of a sudden it was like the heavens opened and the snow was coming! And lucky for us, it was JUST snow and no sleet or ice or anything else that makes for really treacherous driving, as my MIL still had to drive another 25 minutes to get home after we made it to our house. But here is what it looked like when we finally made it home, after rushing inside to put on warmer clothes so we can out and play! Can you tell they are happy about it??

Ok, can you tell that I am happy about it, too?

And this is what we woke up to the next morning.... it was gorgeous!

Maya is the early riser, so we left daddy and Maria sleeping and went out to play in the snow!
Maya and mommy's footprints ... I can't believe this child is now wearing a size 10 1/2 shoe!! The move from toddler to bigger-girl shoe sizes, as I think I mentioned in a previous blog, really gave me a shock several months ago.
No we do not own a sled or anything like it, as the real snow events in SC are few and far between. But mama's roasting pan works just fine! :-p
They really have outgrown this little set, but I just haven't had the heart to get rid of it yet, and they will still play on it, so.....

The early morning hours had such a fine, powdery snow that Maya and I couldn't even make it stick together good to start a snowman. So later in the day, when it all started melting, it finally worked. But by then, the heavier the snowball got, the more of the snow that stuck to it and so you start seeing the bare patches where we pulled snow for our Frosty, and we even had to brush off a lot of leaves by the time we finished!
It took me and E quite a while to get that second snowball up on the first.... it was HEAVY!

By this time I had worked up a sweat, so off came the coat! I'm sure my mother would give me a lecture if she had seen these photos. Assembing snowmen seemed so much easier, say, 20 or so years ago! whew!

This was my very favorite kind of snow event ... lots and lots of fresh snow to play in, but then nice warm (mid-40s) weather the next day so that it melts most of the snow with no residual slush and ice to deal with the rest of the week. woohoo!

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Snow event 2010

Our first snow and ice event of the season on 1/30/10. Daddy got some great pictures of the girls!

Great smiles!!!!

Christmas Eve 2009

Ok, so bad mommy didn't get a single picture of Christmas morning. Too tired. Was up until 3:30 .. um ... "arranging" things. Then was up at 6 when Maya discovered presents downstairs (after she got up 3 different times during the night!) Then did the usual breakfast casserole and Honey Bun Cake and waited for the guests to arrive. Gran came by, of course, as did Calli and Mallori and our friend Paulette. we had a blast, but I was oh-so-tired! Anyway, these are the Christmas Eve pictures, when we let the girls open their gifts to each other.

Maya picked out a Dora the Explorer backpack toy for Maria, which she loved:
And Maya got a Scramble game from Maria, which they both love playing:
Gran stopped by Christmas morning, and I did get a picture of that at least!

Christmas Eve .... putting out cookies and milk for Santa (and carrots for the reindeer, of course!)
Maya loved that Scramble game.... trying to sort shapes to beat the clock, and I think Maya is winning!

Christmas 2009 with the Rainwaters at Hilton Head

My newphew Chad ... congratulations on graduating from Clemson University on 12/17! (and on getting this bag of coal for Christmas ... tsk, tsk....!)
My awesome big brothers....
Omi got lots of presents!