I'm leaving ... on a jet plane ....

Yep, we'll be getting our PINK any day now! Well, any day next week, hopefully. Our 2nd dna test was done last Friday, so now we just wait for our appointment date! Woohoo! My best guess would put us in Guatemala City in mid-February.

We're still debating on whether or not to take Maya with us. My heart says yes, yes, she MUST go with us. No way could I survive a whole week without my little Punkin'. But then my brain says "are you completely freakin' NUTS?!" You want to take a screaming, tantrum-throwing toddler on the plane to a country where you don't speak the language, where she looks more like the average citizen than you, and where she's bound to continue her habit of running from you at the worst times?! And to top it off, you want to take TWO of them on the plane ride home? What the H are you thinking?!?!"

heart: Sigh. I still stress over being an hour late coming home from work and missing that extra hour of time that could have been spent with my baby. How can I leave her for a week?!?!

brain: But we need bonding time with Maria, and it's not fair to Maria to bring along a 2 year old that will demand mommy's every waking moment. Maria deserves mommy's full attention, and this is probably the only chance she has to get it.

ARGHGHGHGH!!! I'm almost to the point of letting fate decide ... when it comes time to make reservations, if we can get a suite or even 2 adjoining rooms, where Maya and Maria can have individual attention from at least one parent at a time, then maybe we can handle taking her with us. If that's not possible, then maybe fate is telling me she should stay home. I try to delude myself into thinking we want to take her for her sake, but it's so obviously a ruse .... I want to take her for MY sake! She'll never even remember the time apart if she stays, or the trip if she goes.

I made the mistake of asking her tonight, "do you want to go with Mommy and Daddy to Guatemala, or do you want to stay with Gran?" Silly mommy ... what 2 year old wouldn't pick GRAN when she knows she can have her way all the time at Gran's house?! Doesn't Gran always have the BEST snacks around at all times?! Heck, I want to stay at Gran's, too, and be spoiled completely rotten, and have my every whim catered to!! When can I get some Gran time, hmmmm? I really do adore my MIL... and I'm not exaggerating when I say she would coddle me just as much as she would Maya if I stayed with her a week.

I've already asked a few people if they would be interested in going with us, then I would have a babysitter to help watch Maya, but no luck so far. Oh well, still a few more weeks to decide. I'll think about it tomorrow......